YOU CAN’T GET WHAT YOU WANT OUT OF LIFE
Do any of these sound like you? A lifetime of yo-yo dieting, ceaseless drama in your personal and professional life that leaves you riding an emotional roller coaster, financial highs followed by financial lows.
With so much emphasis on instant gratification it’s no wonder that most people are looking for a quick fix to almost every problem in life. At one time or another, most of us have bought into the allure of the magic pill and convinced ourselves that if we could just “fix” that one thing...you know, the one that makes us feel a little less somehow...then the rest of life would become magically perfect also. Sadly, there is no magic pill and life doesn’t become magically perfect even if you can manage to find one. And what’s worse is that people who keep searching for one often end up being enslaved by the continuing need for instant gratification (which only lasts temporarily even when you do satisfy it!) and a shortcut mentality which makes it difficult to secure long term results...and not to mention, long term happiness.
Short cuts are for those who think short term. The only way to get lasting results - in any area of life - is by doing the work, facing the discomfort and replacing temporary panaceas with permanent solutions. So how do you break the cycle? By breaking the underlying pattern that created the vicious cycle. Here are a few examples of actionable steps you can take right now to help break that cycle:
Enjoy the process just as much as the outcome.
Instead of falling in love with your intended results, learn to fall in love with the process of getting there. So for example, if the result you’re after is to lose 10 lbs, instead of falling in love with how you think you will look when you’re 10 lbs skinnier, fall in love with the fact that you’re feeding your body healthier foods, and that working out more is giving you increased energy and making you stronger each time you do it. If you go by the number on the scale or the size of your clothing, chances are you’ll feel discouraged and may even be tempted to quit if the numbers you’re seeing don’t match the ideal you created in your head. But if you learn to love the actions you’re taking to get to your intended result, you’re much more likely to stay on track and consistently take those actions which, over the long term, will lead to the results you were looking for all along. And LASTING results - not just temporary ones - because those actions will become habits and well developed habits become part of your identity which is the key to creating lasting results.
Imagine yourself as the type of person who already has the results you want.
Change your inner identity to align with the type of person who accomplishes the goal you decide to set for yourself. So much of who we are and what we do is based on the type of person we identify as. And if we learn to identify as the type of person who’s capable of achieving a specific goal, we’re more likely to follow through on the actions that are needed to turn that goal into reality. Basically, if you see yourself as the type of person who already lives the life you want, you will naturally start doing more of the things that help you create that life. Going back to the dieting example, if your goal is to lose 10 lbs and keep it off, the best way to get there is by seeing yourself as the type of person who already is 10 lbs lighter and does the things that a person who is 10 lbs lighter would do. Maybe they’re the type of person that doesn’t eat out too often, gets enough sleep, gets movement in on a daily basis - and just enjoys taking good care of his/her body. If you can see yourself as being that type of person, you will do the things that are necessary to then become that person. If you can see it, you can believe it. And if you can believe it, you can create it.
Get support.
Whether it’s a good friend, a partner, family member or coach that has your back, make sure you have someone in your corner who is not only rooting for you, but also keeping you accountable. Even the most motivated of people will face obstacles, tread backwards and lose their drive from time to time. And when that happens, they turn to the people who will support them and get them back on track. Personally, I am super motivated most days but when I crash, I crash hard. During those times, I turn to my friends, coaches and mentors for support. And they have always helped me get back up. My friends and family have always encouraged me to keep going. My coaches have helped me create (and smash) goals by helping me reframe the things that were keeping me stuck which allowed me to move onward and upward. There is no such thing as an army of one - we all need support at times and being able to ask for it when you need it most can make all the difference in whether we make (or break) our goals .
Make it fun.
Anytime we make a process fun, our brain is less likely to see it as a chore and more likely to associate it with enjoyment. And the fact is, our brains are hardwired to seek pleasure and enjoyment. (I mean seriously, who wouldn’t pick having fun over doing chores?) To capitalize on this innate need to seek fun, (and minimize the potential to skip out on your goals) turn the process of reaching your goal into a game. Find joy in the accomplishments you make along the way - even the little ones because little wins add up to big wins over time. And the more fun you have along the way, the more likely you are to keep going!
Cut Yourself Some Slack.
Not all roads are straight. Some are slightly curved, some are brutally winding and some are steep and uphill. We may even encounter roadblocks along the way that require us to reroute our trip entirely. The road to accomplishing our goals can be much the same way. No matter how well we plan and prepare, there may be unexpected twists and turns along the way that slow our progress and, at times, even set us back. But just like we don’t stop driving when we run into a speed bump on the road, we can’t stop moving forward if we encounter an obstacle to our goals. We may need to re-route and come up with a new route to get us there, but it doesn’t mean we have to (or should) give up. Everyone faces setbacks but the people who make their goals a reality don’t beat themselves up over it, they simply acknowledge it happened and then keep moving forward anyway. They identify as a person who perseveres and because of that, they also treat themselves with the compassion that’s needed to keep persevering. Even if you don’t see yourself as someone who perseveres (yet), allowing yourself the permission to make mistakes along the way and treating yourself with compassion when you do will go a long way when the speed bumps and roadblocks start to show up.
And last but not least - just be yourself. If the strategies your friends, family members or colleagues use to accomplish their goals don’t reflect who you are and don’t align with how you want to be, just don’t use them. It’s that simple. Instead, use the things that work for YOU and leave the rest behind- and that includes anything that I mentioned in this post that just doesn’t resonate with you. At the end of the day, only you will know what is working and what isn’t. By trying different things, you open yourself to more opportunities and options for success, but that doesn’t mean that all options will be right for you. So go with what feels good and then keep on going from there. Sometimes, it’s just a matter of putting one foot in front of the other. As they say... even the journey of a thousand miles begins with just one step.
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