Negative thoughts. We all have them. Most of us don’t want them. But the problem is they can be so programmed into us that over time, they become habitual and automatic. And for good reason. Anything that’s done often enough - including thinking negative thoughts, creates new neural pathways that turn a repeated behavior into a habit.
And once the behavior turns into a habit, not only will it becomes automatic, but it usually starts to feel pretty normal and you likely don’t even notice that you’re engaging in the behavior. And the more you engage in it, the more it becomes part of you. Keeping you stuck in.a vicious cycle.
Luckily, habits can be changed and cycles can be broken. So if you want to stop having negative thoughts but you're not sure where to begin, here’s some tips that may help:
Become familiar with your negative thought patterns: Awareness really is the first step to creating almost every change in life. Start by paying attention to your thoughts and notice what situation or triggers seem to lead to the negative ones making an appearance.
Challenge the thought. Ask yourself if the negative thought you’re having is actually true - or is it just a story you may be telling yourself because you’re used to hearing it? And is the thought based on facts or assumptions?
Replace the thought. Once you have challenged the negative thought, replace it with a better feeling thought- on that’s based on facts. Not emotion. Not assumptions and not perception alone.
Start monitoring your responses to negative thoughts. Notice if you have any automatic responses that seem to take over the minute the thoughts come in. That’s your practiced - and habitual - response. Like the automatic thought, your response can also become automatic. And the best way to replace an automatic, practiced response you don’t want to have is by deliberately and intentionally replacing it with the one you want to have instead. Even if the automatic one makes its way in first, follow it up with your new one with one and keep doing that until the new one becomes the more practiced response.
Limit your exposure to situations and triggers for negative thoughts. We may not be able to completely eliminate or even control every situation or trigger that leads to negative thoughts, but we can try to reduce our exposure to them.
Incorporate small things throughout your day that bring you joy and make you smile. Whether it’s a quick walk outside, taking 5 minutes to stop by your work bestie’s office or giving your kids or dogs a hug. Make time for it. The more positive events you log each day, the less impact the negative or triggering ones will have on our thoughts.
Changing automatic responses to negative thoughts can take time and practice so be patient with yourself and don’t forget to celebrate small wins along the way.
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